I want to propose a baker’s dozen guiding principles. Each of these has practical implications that may be more surprising and challenging than its capsule description would imply.
Here they are all together:
- Be reflective.
- Reconsider your requests.
- Keep your eye on you long-term goals.
- Put the relationship first.
- Change how you see, not just how you act.
- Be authentic.
- Talk less, ask more.
- Keep their ages in mind.
- Attribute to children the best possible motive consistent with the facts.
- Don’t stick your no’s in unnecessarily.
- Don’t be rigid.
- Don’t be in a hurry.
Alfie Kohn – Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason p.119